I've come to the conclusion that if you're the sort of person who really cares about stuff, you'll get stressed whatever job you're in, and always want things to be right and perfect....

Sometimes when the job is stressful and tiring; I think about why it is so, and it is usually down to other people not doing their jobs with the same godly healthy attitude that I strive to have. People call me a perfectionist... well that’s true! And I’m not ashamed of it! Because I try and do all to the glory of God, everything I do, I know He is watching.

When I despair, when I am down, everything I do is in His strength. When I am lifted up, when I am happy, everything I do is because of His grace and kindness.

Humanly speaking the only job I can be truly happy in is one where everything is perfect... or I have control over everything that happens so nothing can take me by surprise... well that’s just not going to happen is it?! I mean, even if I was a hermit, I wouldn't be able to control the weather – I could want it to be sunny and it would rain!!

Trust and contentment is the only way forward. Faith as small as a mustard seed which trusts that God has a plan for me; for you too! That all that is happening is under HIS control – what peace that brings to a troubled soul! So when things are going ‘wrong’, when people around you are sighing, stressed, upset and arguing – this is how I can still smile – because GOD is MY refuge and strength, and my ever present help in time of trouble!

Sometimes I feel I am headed towards a deep black hole; of depression, doubt and fear... a good friend told me I have to build a rope to pull myself out of it; a rope which consists of all the good things in life; other purposes, other reasons for living.

I realised – that while I am headed towards this big hole, looking down and scared of what is to come; struggling frantically to make my own rope out of pathetic rags which will only tear, even when I do succeed in making it... if only I looked up – there is Christ standing in all His human frailty and all His radiant glory – pointing out that I have a rope around my waist that He is holding onto!

That ‘rope’ is faith – and it’s so frail and so thin that sometimes I forget to notice it. Sometimes I step so far backwards I start heading towards that hole. And God is so gracious that He reminds me I have this rope around my waist, that even when I let go of it He has me so tight He will only let me slip so far into fear before He will pull me out. And that frail thin rope of Faith turns out to be SO STRONG, it not only pulls me out of the hole, but away from the edge and sets my feet upon a rock!

This journey I’m on, this pilgrimage, it isn’t easy, and there will always be black holes along the way. And I will slip, I will fall... it takes strength to stay alert, to read, to pray to be ever watchful – this is a race which needs to be run with ENDURANCE.

The JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH!

And that’s my waxing lyrical for today.....!!